MDS

MDS = Mango Deprivation Syndrome.

I've finally discerned what is going on with me as of late. It has been at least 6 months since I've had a decent, much less delectable, mango. It is messing with my mind. Last evening we were forced to try a mango smoothie made from frozen mango pieces that, at least in the photo on the bag, actually looked more like a real mango than those sad, sad, sad green rocks they try to pass off as fruit for $1.99 each at the grocery store. It was disappointing, to say the least. Didn't taste remotely like mango. Didn't even look very yellow. In the immortal words of Noodle, it was "SO NOT REAL MANGO MAMA".

I know.

Six months into being 'back' in the US. Six months into severe mango deprivation. My symptoms are myriad.

Case in point. Over the last two weeks I've become irrationally furious over the following:

1) That I can count on ONE HAND the number of Asian students in my girl's school and TWO OF THOSE FINGERS ARE MY DAUGHTERS for pity sakes. And what is more every single one of those Asian students is adopted and has freaking lily white American parents. They've been talking about racism (of course, because it was MLK day) and my girls were confused about where they fit. "Am I white or am I black?", Noodle asked me. "Are those the only choices??". YES YES apparently they are in THIS place, but in the rest of the freaking world? Yeah, Sweetie, not so much. There are exponentially more people in the world who look like YOU than who look like ME. Do you remember Asia? Do you remember when Mama and Daddy were the odd ones out? Do you remember when you could count on one freaking hand the number of white/blond kids in your school and I had a terrible time trying to find you in a crowd of your classmates because you all looked so much alike and it wasn't just the dang school uniforms??????  Seriously, I'm glad that the school is talking about racism and that there is a substantial African American population at the school, but, but, but, but I think we need to live somewhere else.

2) The absence of any decorations, indications, products or recognition that next Monday is the Lunar New Year aka Chinese New Year aka Spring Festival  which is the LARGEST and most celebrated holiday in the world. Just not in this particular portion of the American South, so it seems. I know. I said it was irrational anger, but even in Indonesia where as recently as 15 years ago it was ILLEGAL to celebrate the holiday it is now a National Holiday - day off of work - and you can buy oranges and fireworks and red envelopes and piles of the frightfully garish red and gold decorations on street corners and the grocery store. And folks? I checked. The percentage of Chinese people in Indonesia is NOT HIGHER than the percentage of those in the US who might be celebrating this holiday. As Noodle said when we were scouring the aisles of a craft store for anything remotely Chinese New Yearish or Dragonish, "It's like there are no Chinese people here at all, well I AM HERE AND I AM CHINESE. Deal with it".

3) The lack of decent mangoes.

Point two.

This week I ran into a woman (Dutch/American) who had just returned from Indonesia - specifically from Jogja and even more specifically from the Center I worked at the University there. When she said, "Apa kabar??" to me my knees nearly buckled, my heart lurched dangerously and I seriously felt like weeping. Apa kabar? How are you? How are you? Apparently not quite as "here" as I might be.

Which might explain,

Point three.

My recurring dream that we're somewhere in the actual physical transition from Indonesia to America. Sometimes packing in Indonesia. Sometimes in airports. Sometimes in Ohio. Sometimes unpacking in our house. But never never never settled here. Always trying to manage the transition somehow. And when I wake up it takes me some time to reorient myself and figure out just exactly where I am (the dog licking my face is helpful on that score).  Where am I again? Who am I again? What?????

Which leads to,

Point four.

The really most bizarre of all.  Yesterday I returned to the campus I was formerly associated with (and the reason why we were living in NC in the first place) before becoming unassociated with and moving to Indonesia to teach nearly 5 years ago. Just before Christmas the Religion Department Chairperson (a different one than before) asked me to teach a class this semester. And I said. YES. So there I was yesterday, back in the same old classroom (though the blackboards have been replaced with white boards!) opening my mouth to teach (a different class than before, thank god) once again, as I did for years, years and years ago. I am deeply grateful for the chance to teach again and I genuinely like and enjoy the people there (the ones I didn't so much are mostly gone away) but folks, the rabbit hole that I've fallen down has gotten curiouser and curiouser. The students in my class could not even identify a photograph of a highly decorated Mosque as being a "religious building", though they thought perhaps the golden scribbles might be some sort of writing.  Some sort of writing. Ya Allah!!!!!!!

Someone PLEASE BRING ME A REAL MANGO.

SOON.

Comments

[Diane]

Oh my.. reverse culture shock for sure. As I read your post I thought about how I would love for you to talk to my Intercultural Communication class this semester. The class is at 3:30-4:50. We have great technology at my university and maybe could do it remotely- via something called Bridgit. If you are interested let me know and we can chat about it. Not sure if FL has real mangoes....but I can LOOK at the Asian markets. ;-)
Have you looked at any Asian Markets? Where are you in NC? I taught at ECU.

reach me at graceful.living4me@yahoo.com
Hugs
Diane

[Sheila Hassell Hughes]

Good to know you are back. Maybe we can connect up sometime when we are on our way to or from Raleigh (most of Randy's family is there now).

[Mimi]

<3

If we can't make it to Chicago for the festivities this year, we'll be going to the (free!) Chinese New Year Gala at the UW Memorial Union Theatre this year.

It really, really sucks that there isn't much in your area for Lunar New Year celebrations. :( Next year you should all come up to Chicago and we can go to the parade and spend the whole day in Chinatown. It's my favorite celebration ever (even though it's sooo cold--it's totally worth it). Seriously. Why don't we plan something for next year?

[Mimi]

Also, I know Madison is really white (in racial makeup and winter landscape), but we do have over 7% Asian population. Not huge, but for medium-sized cities outside of the pacific northwest, it's up there. I definitely think it would be good for the girls to be around more Chinese Americans. And me. So, Madison it is! :)

[Elaine]

Mimi - Our current city has 1.9% Asian population. Less than 2%.
Madison for the win

[Cheryl]

I vote to definitely plan something for next year! Chicago sounds like a great plan. Let's do it!!!